So I started out my grad school race with six bullets in my gun.

Now I only have two bullets left. 

And I must say, I’m afraid that the objective, which had dodged me all this time, will finally leave me unarmed in front of it.

I don’t want to think I worked so hard for nothing.

I don’t want to think I’ll be stuck waiting to get into grad school forever.

I want to think I can shoot to kill.

That I can achieve my dreams.

And I want to think there are good, fun times while I study and explore new cultures waiting for me.

(P.S. I know I could just jump away and emigrate, but I need more money to do so. And that is such a disadvantage).